Who is a Friend?
Who is a Friend?
If you grew up with someone in the same area, would
you consider him a Friend? What about if you went to the
same school or work in the same place?
Should we just get the opposite of enemy, and say that if
someone is not an enemy is a friend?
Okay, Let us check the dictionary: From the OXFORD ENGLISH
Minidictionary: A friend is a person one likes and knows well.
Alright, alright; words exist to name and describe things, but
they don’t explain. Explanation is done by a person, you. If a
friend betrayed you, the dictionary would not explain why.
Do we need friends for a purpose or we just find these guys
around?
I know you have friends. What makes you claim that these guys
are your friends?
Ladies and Gentlemen; who is a Friend?
you consider him a Friend? What about if you went to the
same school or work in the same place?
Should we just get the opposite of enemy, and say that if
someone is not an enemy is a friend?
Okay, Let us check the dictionary: From the OXFORD ENGLISH
Minidictionary: A friend is a person one likes and knows well.
Alright, alright; words exist to name and describe things, but
they don’t explain. Explanation is done by a person, you. If a
friend betrayed you, the dictionary would not explain why.
Do we need friends for a purpose or we just find these guys
around?
I know you have friends. What makes you claim that these guys
are your friends?
Ladies and Gentlemen; who is a Friend?
Re: Who is a Friend?
my problem, lacking emotional ties or not being needy for popularity and 'many friends' - I classify friends based on their abilities and ethics.
People you cannot trust, who have little or no ethics, should not even be on your friend list.
People who talk, but never deliver, cannot be counted on, and frequently they count on you - they should be classified as an 'associate'.
Friends are people you can trust with secrets, friends are people would would help you out if they could, and you know they would based on their life experiences.
I enjoy being alone, I am happy being married. The only friends I enjoy the most are online.
DNR
People you cannot trust, who have little or no ethics, should not even be on your friend list.
People who talk, but never deliver, cannot be counted on, and frequently they count on you - they should be classified as an 'associate'.
Friends are people you can trust with secrets, friends are people would would help you out if they could, and you know they would based on their life experiences.
I enjoy being alone, I am happy being married. The only friends I enjoy the most are online.
DNR
-
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
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Re: Who is a Friend?
I agree with DNR here, it's very much about trust. Close friends you can trust with keeping secrets.
But then everyone who knew how to keep their mouth shut could be your friend, so I'd like to introduce another constraint: A friend is someone you can trust and someone you don't mind being around. You're happy if a friend comes over for a visit, or at least you don't find it annoying.
For regular people, I suppose it would also be someone you miss when they're away. I just can't seem to do the missing though...
But then everyone who knew how to keep their mouth shut could be your friend, so I'd like to introduce another constraint: A friend is someone you can trust and someone you don't mind being around. You're happy if a friend comes over for a visit, or at least you don't find it annoying.
For regular people, I suppose it would also be someone you miss when they're away. I just can't seem to do the missing though...
Re: Who is a Friend?
yea another good test - 'can you stand being around this person', or 'can this person drop by your crib anytime?' - I used to have this '24 hour test' for girlfriends - if I could not stand to be with a girl for a solid 24 hours - then she was not the one!
A person who can drop by anytime - accepts you, your looks, your crib - uncleaned or prepared for company. I do not like unannounced visitors, the intrusion interrupts my thinking.
DNR
A person who can drop by anytime - accepts you, your looks, your crib - uncleaned or prepared for company. I do not like unannounced visitors, the intrusion interrupts my thinking.
DNR
-
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
Re: Who is a Friend?
Ok, I have thought about this for a while. The core group here I would consider friends.
with this being said
Have I ever been betrayed..... Yes I have and it has cost my life savings. roughly 300,000$ I am broke now and grateful I have food and electricity.
Like I said earlier I have few people I consider friends. The core group here I consider friends. I am excited when Bad brain upgrades a bike and when DNR gets a new toy. I wish I could help when a mode of transportation is stolen. There is not one person here that I would not welcome at the house and I would not expect anything from them in return. I no longer have much to offer but I will share what I have.
Now for my question,
Hiram,
You have sacrificed something to make you ask the questions that you have. Somewhere someone has screwed you.
What is your story?
with this being said
Yes and no. I grew up in an area with people I considered friends. Over time they went their own way and wanted to have nothing to do with me. I managed to get married and move away. 23 years later I had to move back to take care of my parents. I purchased a house out in the county and ran into the people that I used to know when I was growing up. Over a year we talked about a half dozen times. A year and a half later this person showed up at the house. They were strung out on Heroin and wanted to quit. They felt that the only place they could be safe was at our house and they wanted to stay. I agreed and they went through detox at my house. It was an ugly site to behold and made my son of 13 decide not to do drugs.If you grew up with someone in the same area, would
you consider him a Friend? What about if you went to the
same school or work in the same place?
Have I ever been betrayed..... Yes I have and it has cost my life savings. roughly 300,000$ I am broke now and grateful I have food and electricity.
Like I said earlier I have few people I consider friends. The core group here I consider friends. I am excited when Bad brain upgrades a bike and when DNR gets a new toy. I wish I could help when a mode of transportation is stolen. There is not one person here that I would not welcome at the house and I would not expect anything from them in return. I no longer have much to offer but I will share what I have.
Now for my question,
Hiram,
You have sacrificed something to make you ask the questions that you have. Somewhere someone has screwed you.
What is your story?
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Re: Who is a Friend?
Friends,
Lets start from the beginning, I lived in a pace where there were like 10 kids of my age when I was growing, we used to play games out in the park, we used to have fun time but when I was around 12-13 we also had picnics in the same place with a vacant house and stuff. My brother was told I was not allowed to come at the gathering and I still don't know why. People around me used to call guys younger than me as their Elder Brother and didn't give a Bull about me in that manner.
I used to cry a lot alone cause I hated myself for not attending the place where everyone was having fun, I didn't know nor do I still know why they did this.
After a couple of years I also had fights with them and then I started to think what or where was I wrong about and then I realised that it was not cause I stink but it was cause I told them in their faces what their faults was.
At times when my younger brother got into trouble I used to hear both the parties and then even act against my own brother cause he was at fault. I now realise how much he would have hated me for acting like a Bitch to him but I thought it was the right way to do things then.
Few more years passed and I actually started to not bothering about what ppl around me thought about me, and this lead to me getting into a lot of trouble again. Two swords can't stay in one place as they say it in here, I used to have conflicts anywhere I went just cause I was Righteous or something cause I fight for my right.
Well the problem in India is simple Corruption. Either you should have Power or you should yield so much money that it is sufficient to stuff ones mouth. With me there are both the things involved, the thing being I have Power where I need it and Money too, but I hate using them specially Money not cause I don't want to spend but just for a simple reason that WHY THE FUCK.
But that's another thing so I had fights with where I went. And then I made friends with the guys in my School. Ooh My God that was again something. Every time I was left with a broken trust not cause they were wrong but I think I was the one to put trust in wrong ppl.
I loved a girl and I bought a necklace for her Diamond Pendant and Gold Chain worth more than $11,000 (USD) to be precise $11,298 (USD). The price in here is not the concern again but I was not at the town and I gave it to one of my friends to give it to the girl that I loved.
I believed in them for that and at the Airport while handing them the goods I told them "dude make sure this reaches her cause this is something that has very much Emotional Value. I don't worry about how much it costs me but yeah the thing itself is priceless." That was the first thing I had bought for her and trust me it had so much heart in it.
Outcome: They told me she threw the thing in a drain and I had to go away from her cause I thought she didn't deserve me
But then the thing I came to know was that the necklace was lost and not thrown by her
Beat that logic please anyone.
Since then I have been here like online and never left the place atleast you don't need to depend upon anyone in here for anything.
I fee the basic problem in me is that I trust too much and thus depend no someone too much more than required.
Peace.
Lets start from the beginning, I lived in a pace where there were like 10 kids of my age when I was growing, we used to play games out in the park, we used to have fun time but when I was around 12-13 we also had picnics in the same place with a vacant house and stuff. My brother was told I was not allowed to come at the gathering and I still don't know why. People around me used to call guys younger than me as their Elder Brother and didn't give a Bull about me in that manner.
I used to cry a lot alone cause I hated myself for not attending the place where everyone was having fun, I didn't know nor do I still know why they did this.
After a couple of years I also had fights with them and then I started to think what or where was I wrong about and then I realised that it was not cause I stink but it was cause I told them in their faces what their faults was.
At times when my younger brother got into trouble I used to hear both the parties and then even act against my own brother cause he was at fault. I now realise how much he would have hated me for acting like a Bitch to him but I thought it was the right way to do things then.
Few more years passed and I actually started to not bothering about what ppl around me thought about me, and this lead to me getting into a lot of trouble again. Two swords can't stay in one place as they say it in here, I used to have conflicts anywhere I went just cause I was Righteous or something cause I fight for my right.
Well the problem in India is simple Corruption. Either you should have Power or you should yield so much money that it is sufficient to stuff ones mouth. With me there are both the things involved, the thing being I have Power where I need it and Money too, but I hate using them specially Money not cause I don't want to spend but just for a simple reason that WHY THE FUCK.
But that's another thing so I had fights with where I went. And then I made friends with the guys in my School. Ooh My God that was again something. Every time I was left with a broken trust not cause they were wrong but I think I was the one to put trust in wrong ppl.
I loved a girl and I bought a necklace for her Diamond Pendant and Gold Chain worth more than $11,000 (USD) to be precise $11,298 (USD). The price in here is not the concern again but I was not at the town and I gave it to one of my friends to give it to the girl that I loved.
I believed in them for that and at the Airport while handing them the goods I told them "dude make sure this reaches her cause this is something that has very much Emotional Value. I don't worry about how much it costs me but yeah the thing itself is priceless." That was the first thing I had bought for her and trust me it had so much heart in it.
Outcome: They told me she threw the thing in a drain and I had to go away from her cause I thought she didn't deserve me
But then the thing I came to know was that the necklace was lost and not thrown by her
Beat that logic please anyone.
Since then I have been here like online and never left the place atleast you don't need to depend upon anyone in here for anything.
I fee the basic problem in me is that I trust too much and thus depend no someone too much more than required.
Peace.
God Blessed Me With Forgiveness And I Forgive You With My Revenge...!
-Broken Angel
-Broken Angel
Re: Who is a Friend?
The problem may not be identifying a friend, but no one
wakes up someday and says, “I am going to make or get
a friend”. People come around, but it is acknowledgement
which declares friendship. Still you can acknowledge a wrong
person, especially when you mistaken humanity with hospitality.
There are things humans are meant to do; that’s humanity!
Like talking. You can chat with someone today, the next day
claims to be your friend. A man can help out a woman and in
return expects a romantic reward. Let bygones be bygones.
Actually it is confusion.
Three years ago, I was in a venturesome scheme with some
guys. Don’t mind me. I thought I had got friends. There was one
who was so close to me in this. Now that the scheme is no more,
this guy only sees me as an icon which reminds him of the scheme.
wakes up someday and says, “I am going to make or get
a friend”. People come around, but it is acknowledgement
which declares friendship. Still you can acknowledge a wrong
person, especially when you mistaken humanity with hospitality.
There are things humans are meant to do; that’s humanity!
Like talking. You can chat with someone today, the next day
claims to be your friend. A man can help out a woman and in
return expects a romantic reward. Let bygones be bygones.
lonewolf wrote:
Now for my question,
Hiram,
You have sacrificed something to make you ask the questions that you have. Somewhere someone has screwed you.
What is your story?
Actually it is confusion.
Three years ago, I was in a venturesome scheme with some
guys. Don’t mind me. I thought I had got friends. There was one
who was so close to me in this. Now that the scheme is no more,
this guy only sees me as an icon which reminds him of the scheme.
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Re: Who is a Friend?
Hiram wrote:
Actually it is confusion.
Three years ago, I was in a venturesome scheme with some
guys. Don’t mind me. I thought I had got friends. There was one
who was so close to me in this. Now that the scheme is no more,
this guy only sees me as an icon which reminds him of the scheme.
Well I think you answered it yourself mate. It was more like a Business Transaction and never more than that.
I live by the rule "Their Loss!"
Ooh and yeah I read it in Devil's Dictionary the meaning of a RELATIONASHIP (Don't mind me for reading such things)
RELATIONSHIP: Every Relationship is the barter of goods between the two involved in it. It ends when either of the parties are out of the 'GOODS'.
Mind the word GOODS in here.... It explains a lot about things
God Blessed Me With Forgiveness And I Forgive You With My Revenge...!
-Broken Angel
-Broken Angel
Re: Who is a Friend?
If the relationship good's are money, good looks, even power- then indeed the relationship will end when those 'goods' fade.RELATIONSHIP: Every Relationship is the barter of goods between the two involved in it. It ends when either of the parties are out of the 'GOODS'.
If the relationship good's are respect, love, and honor - then the relationship would never end.
DNR
-
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
Re: Who is a Friend?
Amen to that!
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Re: Who is a Friend?
Point taken DNR Sir
God Blessed Me With Forgiveness And I Forgive You With My Revenge...!
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Re: Who is a Friend?
a good friend is someone who risks trouble by saying something you might not want to hear because he cares about you, and he also doesn't get mad at you because you say something to him for the same reasons.
friendship is about caring and supporting, in a real friendship there it's not even a question why you are friends...you simply are.
friendship is about caring and supporting, in a real friendship there it's not even a question why you are friends...you simply are.
Re: Who is a Friend?
Friends are supportive as I agree with bad brain, they will give their last penny to you in supporting and not care what other people think or say always accepting you for who you are. He or she will do things that will have a positive impact on my life without even me saying to do it.
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Re: Who is a Friend?
Some Leaders are respected, loved and honored by people.
This brings about envy and eventually temptation; in turn
this becomes treason. Who wouldn’t wish to be in a high
position? Respect and honor are qualities for someone
greater or who deserves them, and love is more complicated
than friendship.
In most cases co-workers and soldiers support and care for
each other. I doubt if all co-workers and soldiers are friends.
This is just humanity or discipline. Isn’t it?
Let us kill disappointments. We have to know who really a
friend is. For example, I have a friend I trust with business
including the profits, but not with girls.
Let us check DNR again:
This brings about envy and eventually temptation; in turn
this becomes treason. Who wouldn’t wish to be in a high
position? Respect and honor are qualities for someone
greater or who deserves them, and love is more complicated
than friendship.
In most cases co-workers and soldiers support and care for
each other. I doubt if all co-workers and soldiers are friends.
This is just humanity or discipline. Isn’t it?
Let us kill disappointments. We have to know who really a
friend is. For example, I have a friend I trust with business
including the profits, but not with girls.
Let us check DNR again:
DNR wrote:my problem, lacking emotional ties or not being needy for popularity and 'many friends' - I classify friends based on their abilities and ethics
Re: Who is a Friend?
Ok - in that vein - a friend is graded by trust.
i suppose it is also true, some friends can be trusted for one thing, but not another.
What do we WANT from a friend might be a better question.
you get married, you have expectations from your 'friend' (spouse). You expect them to be monogamous, to provide for the home, to respect you, loyalty thru times.
With friendships - there are no rules, or laws to dictate how friends act. If you are disloyal in a marriage, you get divorced and probably have to pay money or give up shared property. So, what makes friendship work?
how about this - there are friends at work, but you never invite them anywhere else. There are friends at home, but you never introduce them to the friends at work, or church. vice versa. Why? Maybe those friends have a specific personality or ability that you know will not mix with other friends, or maybe you don't want others to know about that life style. So you choose a time and place for your friends.
Again, what do we get from friends? I know I get a sense of satisfaction, that I am not alone, that there is someone who has similar interests and agreeable insights. The best friends are not the ones with money or laughs, but the ones that are stable, intelligent, and respectable. What we get is inside and personal, we just feel calm or energized in a positive way. Enemies cause drama and anger, uncontrolled negative feelings. Friends are calming and reassuring. I guess you could go see a priest, a counselor, or some sort of psychologist for the same goal - smart insight, helpful advice, and positive to be around. A friend does it for free or naturally.
So how many friends do you need. If you need 2,000 people to reassure you that you are ok, you are not. Friendship does require some sort of maintenance and time to build, so it is hard to believe anyone has the time to properly cultivate 2,000 friends. It is ok to just have 1 best friend, because both friends can be available for each other.
Is it ok not to have any friends? Obviously this might point to a serious flaw in your personality or such. The inability to get along with others usually means you'll have trouble getting along with yourself. I like to be very private and tell people that I don't care what most people think. But I do care what others think, good people, smart people - its a reflection of my personality and success in life. I rather be known and associate with a small group of very smart and ethical people, disciplined.
Is love more complicated? no. Love, is a commitment, a friendship is more loose. In love, when you declare it to a special person - it is pretty simple - you vow to care for that person before anyone else. In friendship, friends are not liable to help you or provide a commitment. If I am friends with someone, I expect less from them. If someone loves me, I expect more respect, more loyalty, more effort - as I will be doing the same for that person too.
Friends are better than 'associate', co-worker, or 'some guy down the street' - you know a bit about that person, and there is a level of respect or caring that strangers do not share. You might keep an eye out for your neighbor, but not really like them. A co-worker might share personal stuff, and you'll offer advice - but your level of caring is just professional. How well you treat people, besides friends might be a bigger reflection of what kind of person you are.
DNR
i suppose it is also true, some friends can be trusted for one thing, but not another.
What do we WANT from a friend might be a better question.
you get married, you have expectations from your 'friend' (spouse). You expect them to be monogamous, to provide for the home, to respect you, loyalty thru times.
With friendships - there are no rules, or laws to dictate how friends act. If you are disloyal in a marriage, you get divorced and probably have to pay money or give up shared property. So, what makes friendship work?
how about this - there are friends at work, but you never invite them anywhere else. There are friends at home, but you never introduce them to the friends at work, or church. vice versa. Why? Maybe those friends have a specific personality or ability that you know will not mix with other friends, or maybe you don't want others to know about that life style. So you choose a time and place for your friends.
Again, what do we get from friends? I know I get a sense of satisfaction, that I am not alone, that there is someone who has similar interests and agreeable insights. The best friends are not the ones with money or laughs, but the ones that are stable, intelligent, and respectable. What we get is inside and personal, we just feel calm or energized in a positive way. Enemies cause drama and anger, uncontrolled negative feelings. Friends are calming and reassuring. I guess you could go see a priest, a counselor, or some sort of psychologist for the same goal - smart insight, helpful advice, and positive to be around. A friend does it for free or naturally.
So how many friends do you need. If you need 2,000 people to reassure you that you are ok, you are not. Friendship does require some sort of maintenance and time to build, so it is hard to believe anyone has the time to properly cultivate 2,000 friends. It is ok to just have 1 best friend, because both friends can be available for each other.
Is it ok not to have any friends? Obviously this might point to a serious flaw in your personality or such. The inability to get along with others usually means you'll have trouble getting along with yourself. I like to be very private and tell people that I don't care what most people think. But I do care what others think, good people, smart people - its a reflection of my personality and success in life. I rather be known and associate with a small group of very smart and ethical people, disciplined.
Is love more complicated? no. Love, is a commitment, a friendship is more loose. In love, when you declare it to a special person - it is pretty simple - you vow to care for that person before anyone else. In friendship, friends are not liable to help you or provide a commitment. If I am friends with someone, I expect less from them. If someone loves me, I expect more respect, more loyalty, more effort - as I will be doing the same for that person too.
Friends are better than 'associate', co-worker, or 'some guy down the street' - you know a bit about that person, and there is a level of respect or caring that strangers do not share. You might keep an eye out for your neighbor, but not really like them. A co-worker might share personal stuff, and you'll offer advice - but your level of caring is just professional. How well you treat people, besides friends might be a bigger reflection of what kind of person you are.
DNR
-
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.