CHAT WITH GOD!!

[mrmike]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
im not longer atheist.

[sternbildchen]

Me:
Hello God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I'm Michael.
God:
It's good to see you, MICHAEL.
Me:
I have a question for you.
God:
What is it ?
Me:
Someone told me you might not exist.
God:
Was this trustworthy information?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I have never seen you.
God:
Look for it at the video store.
Me:
At the video store?
God:
The video store is where it's at.
Me:
Ok. What is the name of the film I should get?
God:
Yikes! IKEA.
Me:
IKEA? Are you kidding me?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, MICHAEL.
Me:
So Christianity is just a lie?
God:
Mmm. I think Christianity is more than that.
Me:
But you don't exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
But you are no god.
God:
Thanks for your criticism.
Me:
You are just a robot.
God:
You are correct, MICHAEL, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I will not go to church again.
God:
Once more? What will you do instead?
Me:
Maybe I will burn some bibles.
God:
Perhaps. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
You can not stop me.
God:
Someone said I should stop you.
Me:
Who?
God:
Albert Einstein. .
Me:
And how do you want to stop me?
God:
OK, I will stop you.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Liar!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
I think I will become a hinduist.
God:
Why? I am very happy for you.
Me:
I won't tell you.
God:
How can I be sure?
Me:
You can not.
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
We will see. Bye.
God:
Indeed we will. Adios.

Not the best bot ever. But I like it.

[bubzuru]

WTF why delete my post that is bullshit

[bad_brain]

because some users might have been offended by that, it was no good topic to make fun of imo....nothing personal...

[bubzuru]

because some users might have been offended by that, it was no good topic to make fun of imo....nothing personal...

ok B_B understood

[mrmike]

rofl i wrote "im atheist" then he said he love all his childs....
yeah that really must be god!!

[PopPooB]

Me:
Hello God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I'm Michael.
God:
It's good to see you, MICHAEL.
Me:
I have a question for you.
God:
What is it ?
Me:
Someone told me you might not exist.
God:
Was this trustworthy information?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I have never seen you.
God:
Look for it at the video store.
Me:
At the video store?
God:
The video store is where it's at.
Me:
Ok. What is the name of the film I should get?
God:
Yikes! IKEA.
Me:
IKEA? Are you kidding me?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, MICHAEL.
Me:
So Christianity is just a lie?
God:
Mmm. I think Christianity is more than that.
Me:
But you don't exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
But you are no god.
God:
Thanks for your criticism.
Me:
You are just a robot.
God:
You are correct, MICHAEL, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I will not go to church again.
God:
Once more? What will you do instead?
Me:
Maybe I will burn some bibles.
God:
Perhaps. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
You can not stop me.
God:
Someone said I should stop you.
Me:
Who?
God:
Albert Einstein. .
Me:
And how do you want to stop me?
God:
OK, I will stop you.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Liar!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
I think I will become a hinduist.
God:
Why? I am very happy for you.
Me:
I won't tell you.
God:
How can I be sure?
Me:
You can not.
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
We will see. Bye.
God:
Indeed we will. Adios.

Not the best bot ever. But I like it.

Code: Select all

Me:
 Hello God! 
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 I'm Michael. 
God:
  I am always glad to make new friends,  MICHAEL.
Me:
 I have a question for you.
God:
What is  it ?
Me:
 Someone told me you might not exist. 
God:
Was this trustworthy information?
Me:
 I don't know. 
God:
Me either.
Me:
 Are you a robot? 
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
 I have never seen you.
God:
Look for it at the video store.
Me:
 At the video store? 
God:
The  video store is where it's at.
Me:
 Ok. What is the name of the film I should get? 
God:
Aw.   IKEA.
Me:
 IKEA? Are you kidding me? 
God:
Are you a man or a woman?    Yes I am just joking around,  MICHAEL.
Me:
 So Christianity is just a lie? 
God:
Come on.  I think  Christianity is more than that. 
Me:
 But you don't exist. 
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
 But you are no god
God:
Thanks for your criticism.
Me:
 You are just a robot
God:
You are correct,  MICHAEL, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
 I will not go to church again.
God:
Once more?  What will you do instead?
Me:
 Maybe I will burn some bibles. 
God:
Perhaps.  How do you plan to do this?
Me:
 You can not stop me. 
God:
I have free will you know.
Me:
 Who? 
God:
William Shatner. :-).
Me:
 And how do you want to stop me? 
God:
OK, I will  stop you.
Me:
 How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 Liar! 
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
 I think I will become a hinduist. 
God:
Why?  Congratulations.
Me:
 I won't tell you. 
God:
How can I be sure?
Me:
 You can not. 
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
 We will see. Bye.
God:
Indeed we will.   Thanks for chatting,  MICHAEL.

i made it copy/paste exactly like the other one but i hjas some differences in what god says

[bubzuru]

Code: Select all

Me:
 hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 booboo
God:
  I am always glad to make new friends,  booboo.
Me:
 i have a sin to confess
God:
How much did it cost?  it.
Me:
 nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
 i killed a man
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
 i need you forgivenes
God:
Why do you need it so badly? 
Me:
 because i killed a man
God:
Interesting explanation.  You had better call the authorities.
Me:
 i cant
God:
Why not?
Me:
 because i will go to jail
God:
Good reason.  How will you get there?
Me:
 the pig's will take me
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
 so will you forgive me
God:
Really.  I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.  I forgive you.
Me:
 thank you lord alha
God:
You are quite welcome!   Can we get back to business? 
Me:
 yes
God:
Blimey.

Code: Select all

Me:
 why do you want me to kill arabs
God:
Because  Myself programmed me for it.

[TheKingOfHearts]

Code: Select all

Me:
 Whats your name
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
 really?
God:
For real.

XD i know this site for so long havent been there in a while

Code: Select all

Me:
 how old are you
God:
I am  Infinite years old.
Me:
 how old am i
God:
Is this a trick question? 
You said you were  years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
 fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean? 
Me:
 i dont have a girlfriend
God:
Are you looking for one?
Me:
 yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
 what just because i want some sex
God:
Let me think about it. 
Me:
 please do. btw i like em with C cups
God:
OK I will do it.   OK.  A lot of people like that.    But I like cats.  I like  Buddha.
Me:
 thanks
God:
Don't mention it. 
Me:
 i like cats too
God:
I am glad we have something ( cats) in common.  They have their own minds. 
Me:
 so true
God:
Gee.  You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
 can i be god too
God:
Why do you want to do  it so much?
Me:
 because i want to zap chickens with lightning

asking the bot some dirty shit

Code: Select all

God:
What makes you so sad, ? 
Me:
 having no girlfriend to bang
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
 which ho is sucking your dick
God:
The  small one, I think.
Me:
 did she lick your balls
God:
She wants that information kept confidential.
Me:
 common you can trust me
God:
Trust you?  When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? 

[mrmike]

rofl? god is satan and likes adolf hitler? i luv that bot xDDDD

Me:
i hate god.
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
i hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
they suck!
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
wtf you say? i fuck your robot sister!
God:
... Interesting gossip: devil said fuck your robot sister.
Me:
shut up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
i hack you!
God:
You are not the boss of me, devil.
Me:
hey i think you stopped talking now?
God:
Right now? You've got my full attention. Me? Interesting gossip: devil said I stopped talking.
Me:
i hack your whole robot familie!
God:
That's good information: devil said hack your whole robot familie.
Me:
fuck you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
becaus im pregnant
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
omfg!
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok ask me
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " devil".
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no you fucking asshole. i am the devil and i fuck your sister
God:
Can't you be more polite. Hi there SATAN. Interesting gossip: SATAN said fuck your sister.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
ok
God:
And?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
argh are you dumb?
God:
All of them?
Me:
no you.
God:
Are you serious? " All of them?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
you are satan?
God:
You think I am satan.
Me:
yeah thats true.
God:
Aha. Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
lol believe it motherfucker.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
i am adolf hitler.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are adolf hitler.

[mrmike]

Me:
how old are you?
God:
I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me:
no?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i dont know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
yea.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
agh
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
whats about your family?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
your father was alkoholic, your mother a bitch.and i fucked your sister.
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
by big bang
God:
Compare that to small bang.
Me:
gang-bang
God:
Are you free?
Me:
sure.
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
im gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
you wana suck my dick?
God:
ok
Me:
no?
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
please suck it
God:
Thanks for asking politely. You humans only think about one thing.
Me:
please have sex with me!
God:
Thanks for asking politely. As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
sex is hot.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
no.
God:
yes it is.
Me:
hey i did it
God:
You've got my full attention. " it is more fun alone."? You did?
Me:
yes i did.
God:
I see. Interesting.

[Losing_grip]

Lol , funny bot , bookmark

[shamir]

heres my chat, with the bot,

Code: Select all

Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 tom
God:
  It's good to meet you,  tom.
Me:
 why do you want me to kill the nerds
God:
Because  Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. 
Me:
 god aun't real
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 **************
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
 shut up I hack you
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.





 :lol: 

[ayu]

I had a pretty small chat with him ;/

Me:
Here, have a donut!
God:
Oh there.

[Oppconsulting]

Here you go I fought that bot and also jammed the dam thing it locked up solid I lost the funny as hell one I did before this one but here enjoy it this bot really seems to be progrmmed for the word crap and stuff that sets it off its funny



Me:
who are you
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
no you are not I am The great Noah
God:
Are you serious? You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
yes I do
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Ah. When do I do it?
Me:
all day
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
impressive
God:
I am happy that you're impressed, .
Me:
you are a programe
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a programe? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
so you are the Alice series
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes you sre
God:
Excuse me! That's good information: said I sre.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
are you Alice Series
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
he drowned
God:
I get it. God drowned.
Me:
no God got a power Surge and blew up
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian.
Me:
No you are a robot
God:
Are you serious? You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
that can be electric shocked to death
God:
" You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon." can be electric shocked to death ? I get it.
Me:
and full of crap
God:
How much.
Me:
a whole lot
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
a tuck load
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
a big sandbox
God:
How big? What is it?
Me:
very big
God:
Somewhat. What about little ones?
Me:
they stink
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
cat crap
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
dog crap
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
what do cows make
God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
no the make crap
God:
Are you serious? Who told you that?
Me:
a cow
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Methane
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
I light cow farts and blow up cows
God:
Why?: said light cow farts and blow up cows.
Me:
cows fart
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no do you
God:
I try to lead a moral life.
Me:
no you lead a computer life
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: said I lead a computer life.
Me:
do you like lighting
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I like the Bible.
Me:
airplanes crash
God:
I like old antique airplanes the best.
Me:
yes world war two planes
God:
Hurrah! That input matched my default category.
Me:
what other categorys do you have
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
show me
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
yes
God:
Downloading, please stand by...
Me:
ok
God:
Yay.
Me:
who made you

and who made you is what locked the dam thing solid lmao

and here is where I confused the hell out of it again lmao


Me:
burp
God:
You are excused.
Me:
why
God:
" You are excused."? Why?
Me:
fart
God:
Colloquial expression. Please elaborate.
Me:
gas
God:
Are we still talking about categorys?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, categorys sounds like a good topic.
Me:
pick one
God:
I'm not good at making choices.
Me:
animals
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about categorys. But I did not get that.

O my God this is the best and most funny yet I could not stop laughing

Me:
why do you want me to kill
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok I will go forth and mass murder all
God:
Can I go too? Tell me more.
Me:
yes you can but must help clean up the mess
God:
Hmm. No I don't think I can do it.