Have you found the Edge?

[Oppconsulting]

[DNR]

Opp, since I like you and consider you an online friend, let me help.

All of your feelings are understandable and even shared by your friends here on suck-o.
No one else understands? Don't fit in? Life seems pointless?
All the same here brah.

Life is hard, and I agree it can be unreasonable.

You do have a place here, a few friends that will talk to you and read what you write.

I don't fit in either, I am antisocial not by choice, but because of the way I am. Its not a bad thing when you have enough of the right people that compliment you on your social grace, intelligence, and character. Those opinions are the only ones that matter - including your own opinion of yourself.

Stick around brah, don't miss the ending.

DNR

[bad_brain]

You do have a place here, a few friends that will talk to you and read what you write.

exactly. many of us have a shitload of problems, me too....and this is what makes us more than just another computer-related community I think. we are brothers in mind, or "the army of underdogs" as I like to call it behind closed curtains sometimes. you are at the right place at the right time my friend, birds of a feather flock together...

[computathug]

Well i too enjoy having you round opp so ya better be around a bit longer. I enjoy reading your posts and seeing what you have to say, even more so now as your gramar, punctualtion and paragraphs are improving all the time which is easier now to read and would just like to say well done matey, keep it up. By the way .... im not from Down Under im from the uk, just a habbit of saying matey or mate to people i get aquainted with.

I too found it hard to feel that i belonged to this forum or any forum for that. I felt i had nothing to offer but stupid questions and felt that to ask one of these would be asking to get spammed and basically taken the piss out of for asking but i stuck around for a bit and found there are still a few things i can do on here. Reading your posts, you too have a lot to offer as this is as b_b said not just a forum about hacking but a community. A community of people with something to share. A place where i come to learn, help and socialize with a few people.

I would like to explain better and i would like to tell you ' i do know how ya feeling' and as this is about going to the edge i just might carry on. I have contemplated typing this out for the last ten minutes, and am doings so still.

For a start off
1) Why am i here?

*edited*

2) who am i?

They say (doctors etc) we are made of our parents DNA which forms who we are. I was left outside a nuns home in a basket and they took me in. I was later adopted and then due to one thing and another was taken from the parents and fostered from the age of 7. I had 9 brothers and 9 sisters and still didnt feel like i belonged. I watched the person i loved most which was my foster dad die of cancer at 14 as we kept him at home right through it as it was terminal. A year later we had to stand by and wait for paramedics try and save my brother who died on the way to hospital after we revived him before the ambulance got there, of an asthma attack.

I later left home at 15 and have lived all over this country. Im a kind of loner that fits in every where i go but i feel like i dont belong so i move on. My misses even says im a gypsy by rights .XD Read some of my other posts and you will see probably why i am like i am. I have been to prison for 4 years which am afraid to say didnt faze ma at all, only made me stronger and better. I have been kidnapped by people with guns and taken on a 20 min drive to a construction site. Now that is going to the edge, I really did think that was it, it was all over. I never begged or pleaded and thought if thats how it is written then so be it. Anyway, obviously im still here so took a kicking till they believed i knew nothing and am still around to tell the story.

So maybe the life i have lived is what makes we want to live on the edge. Maybe thats why i have drink nearly everynight after work and tell myself the day after i aint drinking tonight .....yeah right. I dont think this qualifies me for an alcohlic yet as i dont drink through the day till 9 / 10 pm, but dont half chong the cheech although i know i shouldnt i think it makes me a better person. I think all this equates to why my mind is hyperactive and i dont sleep until i am worn out that i cant keep my eyes open. Some days I miss a night sleep so that when i get home from work the day after i might be able toi get there at a reasonable time before 12pm but nah impossible, hehe if i do im awake by 4am . Thank goodness for the internet =P.

So I can try to understand how you feel who ever you are as i have been through most things except going to war, which i wouldnt anyway unless i felt it was valid enough reason to do so. I feel like one of societies misfits and still dont know where my life is leading. I also feel that i too never got the chance in life i would have liked to have took so my life took different directions. Now im not the type of person that just wants to live in a rat race. Its just not my thing, work ...eat...sleep. I need something to do, i have to push my boundaries. I could really go on forever with this post but just have to say this.

I am proud of who i am nor matter who tells me different. I made the choices i did from the options i had and in another lifetime i believe i could have achieved great things. Maybe i wasnt meant to, maybe if i had then i wouldnt be the person who i am today so although the choices i made were not always the right ones they may have been right for me. I am not a mugger or a burglar, a heroin addict or a crack head. i have never hurt any body for nothing and try to lead a good as a life as possible to help others. I believe i am a good person so screw the institutions and govenments.

I think that s enough for now so please ignore me if i rambled on a bit and please dont be offended if i go back to this adn delete it in a day or two as you can see it it a bit personal and took me a lot to do.

cheers guys

[TheKingOfHearts]

i read someone talked about life
and i wanted to share my opinion on life

life sucks.
but life is great because it sucks
whatever is hard and sucks or/is painful
makes you stronger.

example:
some kid is a bad athlete and you outran him big time
this kid trains like an animal for weeks and weeks
and you just sit at home being a "winner"
then comes the next race and he smokes your ass with like half a mile
so basically to be a winner you must give it your best
you must try and strive to win and not just know you would
also no one is or can be perfect
so therefore be proud of what you have done so far
no matter if you lose or win, the thing you gain from that exp.
is what makes you a winner.

[DNR]

This is the family, the brotherhood that I was meaning, talking about.

Ok, Life is hard, sucks perhaps.

What is worth anything if you don't deserve it?
If you didn't work for it, why should you feel good.

Everyone is different, everyone has a purpose:

"If you begin to realize that every big thing is made up of many little things, you can begin to realize that there is no such thing as an unimportant little thing."

That means even fuck ups like <edited by DNR> has a purpose in our lives, so I try to be considerate and understanding. (it doesn't mean I got to be cool about it )

Everyone has a purpose, make every minute count. And never ask Why?

DNR

[Oppconsulting]

[Lyecdevf]

Yeah, I have found the edge. I have been living on the edge for a good deal of time.

I have been to the physical, mental and emotional edge. fortunately I have come back unharmed.

So what is the beast way of dealing with it? Well in my case that were several things.

I have done art as a way to relax and deal with the extremes that I have experienced from reaching the edge. I have also done a lot of alternative healing methods.

When you find a place in your hear that feels the most safe than you have done as much as you could possibly do to avert the extremes that you have experienced by reaching or finding the edge. When you find that in you and that purity of heart than you know that you can come back and renew your self. That in turn gives you the strength that you need. So that is the most important thing to do after you have found the edge and you need to find your way back to normalcy. Being focused and not losing your self is the most important thing that you need to do no matter what you face. Because if you let fear in than all is lost and you will go over the edge. So when ever you find the edge the most important thing is that you never let negative emotions rule your heart.

[DNR]

Lye, you brought up a very important point. It is a rotating,circular, even repeating series of events. The trip to the edge is only a part of the trip to find out who you are.

When you find a place in your hear that feels the most safe than you have done as much as you could possibly do to avert the extremes that you have experienced by reaching or finding the edge. When you find that in you and that purity of heart than you know that you can come back and renew your self. That in turn gives you the strength that you need. So that is the most important thing to do after you have found the edge and you need to find your way back to normalcy. Being focused and not losing your self is the most important thing that you need to do no matter what you face."

How you recover from a trip to the edge is probably just as important as you handled yourself on the other side of the edge. If you bottle it up, you'll explode for sure. If you don't remember the lesson learned in the experience, you'll repeat the lesson again. I seem to do a careful mental review or sometimes I'll write about it - to see if I did the right thing. And those damn "should have, could have, would have" beatings you'd give yourself, because there will always be some doubt.

Renew yourself, you are not the same person you were yesterday, an hour ago, five minutes ago. Make sure that everything you do has a positive purpose, don't stumble through circumstances.

Good post Lyecdevf
DNR