Criticism may occur within conflict situations or can foster conflict. Criticism, or the generation of "evaluative judgments," is often painful or difficult to "give" or "receive." If handled appropriately by both the person criticized and the person being criticized, critical feedback can promote constructive growth in individuals and relationships.
Constructive Criticism - Some Assumptions
1. Criticism arises out of interaction, rather than simply action. Evaluation is important to improvement, but criticism should follow a "two way street." Criticism is more valid when all parties involved interact both as the "critic" and the "criticized."
2. Those who criticize need to value and invite criticism. Criticism can be promoted if the critic first invites criticism of his or her own behavior. By inviting criticism, a person can create a situation in which her or his criticism of another is perceived as appropriate.
3. The "Critic" and "Criticized" guidelines that follow are pertinent to all parties involved in "criticism" discussion.
Constructive Criticism - Guidelines for the Critic
1. Understand why you are offering criticism. Feel confident that doing so is appropriate to the situation and constructive for the parties involved. Criticism voiced out of self-interest or competition may be destructive.
2. Engage in perspective taking or role reversal. As you develop a criticism strategy or response, try to understand the perspective of the person being criticized.
3. Offer criticism of the person's behavior, not on her or his "person." Refer to what a person does, not her or his "traits," or "character."
4. Even though criticism implies evaluation, emphasize description. Before offering any judgment, describe behavior you see or have experienced.
5. Focus your criticism on a particular situation rather than general or abstract behavior. "Index" and "date" your criticism, much like a "journalist": deal with who, what, where, and when.
6. Direct your criticism to the present ("here and now") rather than the past ("there and then").
7. Emphasize in your criticism your perceptions and feelings. Indicate what you think and feel about the other's behavior that you have described. Use "I" statements.
8. Invite a collaborative discussion of consequences rather than offering advice. Form a partnership to deal with problems. Do not compete with the other party; compete with the other person against the problem.
9. Keep judgments tentative. Maintain an "open door" of dialogue rather than presenting your "analysis" or "explanation" of another's behavior.
10. Present criticism in ways that allow the other party to make decisions. Do not force criticism on the other. Encourage the other to experience "ownership." People are more likely to comply with solutions that they generate.
11. Avoid critical overload. Give the other an amount of critical feedback that she or he can handle or understand at that time.
12. Focus criticism on behaviors that the other person can change.
13. Include in your critical feedback a positive "outlet." Reinforce positive actions and invite the possibility of change.
14. Invite the other to present criticism of you.
Constructive Criticism - Guildelines for the Criticized
1. Recognize the value of constructive criticism. Such criticism can improve relationships and productivity.
2. Engage in perspective taking or role reversal. Try to understand the perspective of the person offering criticism.
3. Acknowledge criticism that focuses on your behavior. Attempt to transform criticism that seems directed at your "person" to specific behavioral issues.
4. Listen actively. Even though criticism may hurt, seek to understand accurately the criticism being presented.
a. Paraphrase what the other is saying.
b. Ask questions to increase understanding.
c. Check out nonverbal displays (check your perceptions).
5. Work hard to avoid becoming defensive. Resist any tendency to want to dismiss criticism or retaliate.
6. Welcome criticism; use the criticism appropriate to improve.
7. Maintain your interpersonal power and authority to make your own decisions. Criticism, when directed at one's "person," may weaken one's resolve. Focus the other's criticism on your actions. Seek ownership of solutions.
8. Seek constructive changes to the behavior that prompted the criticism.
9. Insist on valid criticism. Valid criticism: (a) addresses behaviors, (b) is timely, and (c) is specific.
10. Communicate clearly how you feel and think about the criticism and receiving criticism. Use "I" messages.
Dealing with criticism
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computathug
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Dealing with criticism
Last edited by computathug on 18 Dec 2007, 17:39, edited 1 time in total.
I can't deal with it
WTF! C-Thug, the title of the topic is in ALL CAPS, ARE YOU SHOUTING?
I think one thing that helps people take/receive criticism, is that they developed a healthy relationship prior. I try to get to know a person before I put any pressure on them. By pressure I mean interact in a way that can be either motivating or discouraging. Believe it or not, I most rather stay invisible and not interact with people if I can. In other cases, like in public, if I see something very wrong, I will not stand by and do nothing.
One important part of criticism, is to Learn and Move On. Get over it, get the lesson, and get back to work. If you keep repeating the same mistakes, don't be so surprised you got more criticism.
Society has made it 'politically incorrect' to correct someone, to criticize, or to question someone's actions. Boo hoo, I am not trying to hurt your feelings - our problem is more likely situational, than personal. Since personally I don't give a damn what you do - as long as it doesn't become my problem
At work I frequently am asked to train new hires. In this case, I have authority to evaluate and offer constructive criticism. This is the same case here, when B_B asked me to be an Admin, I was given that same authority to moderate the forums. Believe me, I didn't want to be an admin at first, because I rather not have any more responsibility. I don't like rules myself. It is a duty of any admin to enforce rules and guide visitors to the proper doors (exit even )
Everyone has there own way of working with neos, my way can be very blunt and direct. I might be here to mentor you, but you can be sure I am here to protect suck-o.
DNR
I think one thing that helps people take/receive criticism, is that they developed a healthy relationship prior. I try to get to know a person before I put any pressure on them. By pressure I mean interact in a way that can be either motivating or discouraging. Believe it or not, I most rather stay invisible and not interact with people if I can. In other cases, like in public, if I see something very wrong, I will not stand by and do nothing.
One important part of criticism, is to Learn and Move On. Get over it, get the lesson, and get back to work. If you keep repeating the same mistakes, don't be so surprised you got more criticism.
Society has made it 'politically incorrect' to correct someone, to criticize, or to question someone's actions. Boo hoo, I am not trying to hurt your feelings - our problem is more likely situational, than personal. Since personally I don't give a damn what you do - as long as it doesn't become my problem
At work I frequently am asked to train new hires. In this case, I have authority to evaluate and offer constructive criticism. This is the same case here, when B_B asked me to be an Admin, I was given that same authority to moderate the forums. Believe me, I didn't want to be an admin at first, because I rather not have any more responsibility. I don't like rules myself. It is a duty of any admin to enforce rules and guide visitors to the proper doors (exit even
)Everyone has there own way of working with neos, my way can be very blunt and direct. I might be here to mentor you, but you can be sure I am here to protect suck-o.
DNR
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He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in Darkness, and Light dwells with him.
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computathug
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- Posts: 2693
- Joined: 29 Mar 2007, 16:00
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Yeah you could say i was shouting. Seemed the forum was quite active over the weekend while i was away for a few days and the topics locked before i got my two pence worth in so in order for people to take notice i thought shouting might be the best option. After a few deep breaths and a lung full of smoke i now realize this may have been a bit OTT. Guess what im trying to say is that there are many ways for us to communicate and hopefully help each of us get the best out of ourselves that we can. Not everyone in life can like everyone and we cant all have the same personalities. This is what makes us all unique. we have a big enough problem with language barriers as it is without making it any harder for ourselves.
An internet community is hard enough to build with out extra boundaries. Not all forums are as friendly as this. People should know how to take positives out of any situation. Lets keep it this way.
If i was an admin there would be hardly any one left to post so thats way out the question in my lifetime. My fave saying of the moment is
'Ya Barred'
why not see one of my favourite adverts while i am at it
An internet community is hard enough to build with out extra boundaries. Not all forums are as friendly as this. People should know how to take positives out of any situation. Lets keep it this way.
If i was an admin there would be hardly any one left to post so thats way out the question in my lifetime. My fave saying of the moment is
'Ya Barred'
why not see one of my favourite adverts while i am at it
ps. I shall title.lowercase in a few hours after it been read a few more times